


He put me through hell and I called it Love

by HelloBerrie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cuts, Draco Malfoy - Freeform, Draco's thoughts, Drarry, Harry Potter - Freeform, Love, M/M, Malfoy Manor, POV Draco Malfoy, Pain, Pining, Punishment, Reconcile, Sacrifice, Second War with Voldemort, Suffering, Suffery, Torture, War, Wizarding Wars, Wizarding World, curse, draco saves harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 06:14:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13758009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelloBerrie/pseuds/HelloBerrie
Summary: This is a drarry drabble from Draco’s PoV after Draco saved Harry in the Malfoy Manor. I hope you enjoy it :)





	He put me through hell and I called it Love

Everything I did I had a reason. A cause. I thought myself to be the righteous soldier, until He told me to kill an old man I despised for principle and revered with reluctance. But I still had a cause. Another cause that kept me in the same path. Maybe if I had killed Dumbledore I would have more privileges than I had after but still, my path was essentially the same.

I blame him and I don’t. He didn’t know really what happened after he fled from my house with his friends. When he left me there to pay for saving him. And pay I did. A journey to hell is never a fast journey and my guide there had a particular taste for appreciating the journey slowly.

I remember staring at the place Harry disappeared from for seconds in horror and a crushing silence. I knew what was to come, I expected it from the moment I looked at Harry, kneeling in the middle of the room, disfigured to the point that the only feature that gave me certainty that was him was the colour of his eyes. Green. So green. I had a cause. A cause that kept me in one path. But that cause led me to nothing. That cause protected nothing and when I looked at those eyes I found another cause. So I lied. I lied and saved his life. And it cost me my own.

She broke the silence. Bellatrix said something in that voice that makes me want to put my hands around her neck and just squeeze the life out of her. It’s strange how one can hate their own blood like with the passion I did for my aunt. But I suppose I was used to it. To hate. I hated my family. I hated Him. I hated them all. I hated myself. There were only two things that I loved. Two things that made me change causes. And I gave my life to protect both. Then He arrived. Angry. Murderous. He just didn’t kill me because he wasn’t able to detect the lie in my thoughts. I believed I was truthful and I did not in fact recognise Potter. I would have thanked Godfather for the Occlumency lessons if I had had the chance. But I didn’t. I never thanked him did I? I regret that now.

But never, not for one second I believed that tricking the Dark Lord into believing me to be truthful would have saved me from punishment. No. He enjoyed punishments far too much. I would have actually thought that the enjoyment was sexual but not once I had seen that kind of glow I his red eyes. But he enjoyed punishments. And that’s what he did. I knew he wouldn’t kill me. He had killed everyone truly disposable and I knew I still held some value to him. If anything he valued my name. And my money. “Draco. Draco. I know you to be so much better than this. You should have tried harder. I forgive you of course. I am nothing but generous. But you must understand, Draco. Wrong doings must be punished accordingly.” He explained, almost apologetically. Almost kindly. It was that voice. More than anything, almost more than the impending pain itself, that sent me shivers of dread through my skin. His kindness masked anger. His soft voice masked cold hatred. And then my journey to hell began.

He started with Cruciatus, weak at first, as if he was trying the curse for the first time and didn’t know exactly how it worked. As if he hadn’t practiced it countless of times. A few minutes of this, slowly increasing the potency was enough to make my body sore. A few moments later I was screaming. But there was no use. The pain wouldn’t stop. I wanted to die and the pain wouldn’t stop. Please stop! Don’t! Not her!! Not my mother! Anyone, anyone but her! Don’t! But it was just an image. He was good with that. After he had stopped, I looked at him between gasps and tears. He was almost smiling. I realised where I was and I knew my mother was just outside the door. Waiting for it to end. But it wasn’t over yet.

Pain in my leg caught my attention and I looked down. Oh. Now we’re to the cutting part. Another cut. Another cut. Why was there a snake coming from the cut in my leg?! Stop! Someone please get it out! It’s eating my flesh! Make it stop! Please! Please! Please! Please stop! I can’t take it! Not my mother! Don’t take away my mother! Please! My legs! Somebody help me!

I screamed and screamed for what felt hours and hours. I saw Him kill my mother. I saw Greyback rape my mother. I felt him clench his teeth on my skin. I felt him touch me. I felt fire inside me. I felt my flesh eaten away by snakes. I saw death. I saw blood. I saw hell.

I those moments I didn’t think of anything but pain. And horror. I didn’t feel anything but pain and the deepest desire for death and escape. Then it stopped. He stopped. “Draco. I will be benevolent with you today. You see I feel…” He talked but I couldn’t make up everything He said. I was still in hell. But at least it had stopped. I didn’t care what He was saying, as long as I didn’t have to feel anything again. I was still in hell. Then my guide on the journey to hell left the room and my mother came. I closed my eyes and hell was gone.

Hell came back in the Room of Requirement. Fire came back. Despair and horror came back. This time I didn’t need a guide there, although Crabbe took on the job easily enough. Too eager I must say. But this time I knew it wasn’t going to end. This wasn’t a punishment, this was a battle and battles only have two outcomes. You’re either the winner or you die. And this particular journey to hell would lead only in death. Until Harry saved me. He was a few days too late. He should have saved me back then in my house. He should have taken me with him. Still I couldn’t complain. He was alive, I was alive and I was with him. I got to hold him. That healed me more than I thought it would.

But the journey wasn’t over. Harry was dead and Why did you die, Harry?! You had no right to die! Why did you go to Him?! I went through hell to save you! Why did you die?! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! Come back Harry!! Don’t you dare die!

Alive! He’s alive! “Harry!!” I shouted, running to him. I had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t know anything anymore. But he wasn’t dead. He was alive. He was still alive and I would go through hell again for him! I threw him my wand.

Harry’s alive. I’m alive. Voldemort’s dead. Hell is…Hell is gone. I don’t have to go through hell again.

“Draco?” He calls me. His eyes are so green. He looks so exhausted. “Walk with me?” I nod silently. For a while no one says anything. I think we’re both too tired to speak. Harry sits on a rock, with his back hunched forward. He doesn’t look at me. I sit beside him, looking to the lake in front of us. Then he whispers, “I’m sorry. Thank you.”

He doesn’t say anything else. After a while he leans his head on my shoulder and in a few seconds he’s asleep. It’s my turn to whisper. “I’m sorry too. Thank you.”


End file.
